The Trailer Reviews Begin:
I never really wanted to be a movie reviewer (never really had the time) but when I heard that screeners were being done away with, I felt I had to do something for myself and anyone else who has gotten enjoyment from watching screeners. So, this is a protest for the screener ban. I'll review trailers cause I have no screeners to watch.
This is how it will stay until this nonsense is over. Now, this is not a reflection on the movies themselves, cause most likely, I didn't see the movies and maybe I won't in the future. It's just a review of how the trailers washed over me, if it made me want to see the movie, or if the trailer was as much of the movies I cared to see, my thoughts on pretty flowers, the main actors hair, you'll get the idea. So without further ado
HAIKU TRAILER REVIEW
____________________________________________________
Jan 22nd, 2004
A few more Haiku Trailer Reviews for you to ponder. More on the way. Enjoy
First there was Mad Max.
Then we cheered for Braveheart, now...
Jesus! Coming soon (check your local listings)
Why call them Zombies
These dead can move really fast
Lets call them Zoom-bies
Yawn, fart, yawn, fart, burp
Is this trailer over yet?
Yawn, yawn, yawn, snore, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Video game flick
Makes Dawn of the Dead look good
But the kids love it
Best actress winner
And the Oscar goes to: -durms-
The makeup artist (sorry I just had to)
Enough with the dead
The only thing thats's dead is
Studio heads minds (Brains! Brains! They need BRAINS!!! Awwwwww!)
Vin, being Vin Diesel
Vin Diesel's "Terminator"
Could make him a Star
Trailer to behold
Not sure what to think of it
That's when trailers shine
____________________________________________________
Nov 20th, 2003
Here is a few more for you.
Creepy looking flick
Hot women left and right here
Thriller in my shorts
Armageddon's here
Murphy and Disney team up
The end is near folks
Folks, I have to swtich it up once more... And remember this is just for this trailer alone. Since I can't Bring myself to watch this trailer, I will have to try my...
HAIKU "MOVIE TITLE" REVIEW
Love Actually?
What the hell does that mean, huh?
Crap actually
HAIKU "MOVIE TITLE REVIEW ends here, that is until I find another trailer I can't bring myself to watch. Now back to the normal Review-Ku.
____________________________________________________
Nov 15th 2003
This looks familiar?
It "Gladiator"!
Not seeing that twice...
Dances with Shoguns
Tom Cruise in place of Costner
The trailer was loud
Hanks and Zemeckis
Digital Christmas fable
Will make tons of cash
Haiku Trailer Review ~a new~ (With an added 3 more syllables at the end, when the Haiku alone just didn't cut it. Hey, we are not in Japan, time to make up some rules.)
The Grinch taught them not
Money will come pouring in
But soon forgotten
~ buy the book~
Just love the concept
But confused as hell by it
Who's going back where?
Never home alone
Throw in Steve Martin for Laughs
Laugh out loud crap fest
Death and destruction
How can you go wrong with that
Then again, "The Core" ???
Boom Bang Water Smash
Crowe is the ships captain man
Sea sick from trailer
Pretty flowers bloom
In her heart.............. No, I can't lie!
I couldn't watch it
Plain revenge story
If done well, can really shine
Trailer got me pumped
The name says it all
Bad Santa, who is this for?
It looks like no one
This is all for now. Too bad I won't be seeing a lot of these movies but hey, until the dumb ban is dropped, I will keep telling you what I think about the recent crop of trailers. Hey, I can feel my wallet getting fatter already.
Had to do a little editing, hell I wrote all the these in a few min, what do you expect. Ad to that a few more when I get the chance and even more editing.
Also, I wanted to say a great thanks to Quicktime and www.apple.com trailers for saving me the trouble of having to track down all these little masterpieces.
Quicktime movie trailers can be found at:
Head Honcho
